


Reflection in Shadow

by JaydrFamiliar



Series: Siiryel Glanodel DRK week 2020 [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Dark Knight | DRK Week (Final Fantasy XIV), Elezen Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Gen, Post-Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers, Trans Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27478813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaydrFamiliar/pseuds/JaydrFamiliar
Summary: As Siiryel hones herself to become an ever greater dark knight, she surprises herself as her darkside grows stronger with her, and an encounter with Fray is rarely one that ends well. Story for Dark Knight Week 2020 day 2 - Moogles/Living Shadow.
Series: Siiryel Glanodel DRK week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2005984
Kudos: 4





	Reflection in Shadow

A forceful slash of the sword across the wing, a spiralling cut across the chest to loosen the aether, a brutal thrust to draw the soul out blood-first, Siiryel brought her sword down on the hulking bird she had been contracted to kill.

The Elezen had been given some small time to rest since defeating Emet-Selch, but she elected instead to spend it training her martial abilities. While her skills as a white mage were great, she knew full well the robes and the cane were not the solution to all problems. Since she had long hung up her lance, she had picked up her greatsword for the first time since arriving in Norvrandt. Her questing across the scattered nations remaining on the reflection had been arduous, and the hunting contract on the humungous rail ‘Coquecigrue’ seemed a fitting one to test her progress. A practical unglamorous job; a welcome reprieve from her recent adventures.

All that said, as the rotund bird tackled her, sending her skidding across the dirt, she couldn’t help but feel some small shame. She was not strong. Though she had gotten used to bearing heavy equipment across distances, that was very different to being able to stand her ground against a foe three times her weight, or even swiftly swing her steel. A burst of anger pulsed through her, hardening her skin as she hardened her resolve and lunged back into the fight. Billowing shadows propelled her sword through the air, the force twisting her body in a circle as blue feathers were carved from the beasts’ breast. Therein lay half of why the path of the Abyss had called to her; she needn’t be the strongest or the hardiest. The darkness responded to her strength of will and desire to defend those who cannot defend themselves. _‘Tis love’_ the moogles had said, and in their own way they were right. That fateful night in Gyr Abania had proved that if nothing else.

Feeling the darkness pulsing in her blood, she raised her sword high to land a killing blow, when the power withdrew from her. Before she had time to make sense of what had happened, a reddish bolt of energy shot forth from behind her. It impacted the bird, erupting into sharp spines of cruel aether as a figure wreathed in shadow leapt in a graceful arc, landing swordpoint-first on Coquecigrue’s back. Siiryel watched as her target collapsed in a heap. The figure resolved into something solid as it brought its heavy blade down on the creature’s neck, finishing it for good. The helmeted knight looked up to her, brushing off the last of the shadows from her armoured coat.

“Fray? Oh wicked white what has gone wrong…” Siiryel breathlessly started before the spectre interrupted her.

 _“Funny, it was you who called me here. Come, get that head ready to show the clan and I shall strip what meat I can from this thing. It’s been a while,”_ she shrugged, speaking to Siiryel in her own voice.

In a tense silence, Siiryel began to properly cut free the head of the Coquecigrue and clean it to put in her pack as evidence of the deed. Esteem… The part of her soul that called itself Fray only ever manifested when she was under duress. Why would she come forth now? Why was the apparition who had once cut down many a temple knight in an attempt to seize control of Siiryel’s body suddenly so concerned with gathering food? She watched bewildered as Esteem began to put together a small campfire ready to cook the bird. Realising Siiryel was standing still, Esteem called across to her, _“Are you just going to stand there? Fire crystals, water crystals, seasoning, and knives, go fetch them and help.”_

She had planned to cook something up in her suite back at the pendants, but not wanting to invoke Esteem’s wrath, she went along with it, fishing her supplies for cooking in the field from somewhere deep in her bags and getting to work. Setting up a shabby makeshift grill, she began to cook the meat into something edible. She was salting the searing meat when Esteem began to talk again.

 _“I said you called me here, and I meant that. You wanting to get stronger, and I am the answer.”_ She said, removing the helm from her head, long white hair flowing out over her right shoulder as she sat down on the ground. Pressing down on one strip of meat with the side of her knife, Siiryel snorted,

“Every time you have shown up it has only been when my darkside is getting the better of me, be it yourself or Myste. Forgive me my suspicion,” she said with an untrusting smile. Esteem shrugged again.

 _“I can’t deny that, but it’s water under the bridge. My sins,_ our _sins I cannot push aside, but neither can you hide from the truth. You’re ruining the texture of that one, leave it.”_

Siiryel started and pulled the knife away from the strip she had begun to crush in anger.

 _“Sure I cannot fit your image as a_ ‘Hero’ _but what I can do is finish a fight. You shouldn’t fear me so much, we are a part of each other, and…”_

“A house divided cannot stand, yes, I know,” she sighed, flipping over the sizzling rail, starting to piece together what was happening. “I’m scared, Fray. As a dragoon my might was tempered by the fear of death but now… I do not fear defeat when the abyss walks with me. As a mage of the White I heal and bring light and life, as a knight I bring death to those who would harm those I place in my care. I fear what I am becoming, and you, you are why. You know what we are capable of if we slip.”

Esteem smiled at that, shaking her head. She got to her knees and shuffled over to the grill, gently pushing Siiryel aside to take over her work. It was surreal watching herself working at a trade from the outside.

 _“The foes we face now are stronger than ever. All I can ask is a chance to fight by your side when the fight turns desperate.”_ She pulled a pair of bowls out of their bags, and carefully lifted the now-cooked meat into them. _“Can you trust me with that? Can you trust yourself with that?”_ She finished, handing one of the bowls to Siiryel.

The sunset had turned to night as they’d talked, the stars of the First twinkling softly in a cloudless sky. How she had fought for these stars. The pain she had gone through to bring the night back to Kholusia and save G’raha. She would do anything to stop those victories being taken from her, she had a responsibility to save as many people as she could. Esteem was right. No matter how she got the strength to fight the fights she needed to, she could cause harm were she to err. At least her darkside listened to her, _was_ her.

“Okay,” She replied uneasily, turning her eyes back from the heavens, “I will need some time to become comfortable with this, but I do not want to fail again. And when I do, I want to be able to say I tried everything to change it. I shall call upon you when I need an ally.” She smiled a sad smile to Esteem, “We can’t give Myste more to cry over, can we?”

Esteem snorted, this time, and shook her head. _“Poor girl. Worried silly over all those things she cannot change… But still we love her for it, don’t we?”_ Shuffling from where she was resting, Esteem put her empty bowl away. _Wait hang on does she even need…_ Siiryel checked her own bowl and realised the entire pile of meat had been served to her. Fray knelt, holding her sword point down as shadows began to coalesce once again around her. _“Before I go, one thing. Why are you wearing the same coat as me and why the_ Hells _did you dye it white.”_

Siiryel gave an ugly cackle at that, watching as the spectre slowly lost definition. “We look better in white, what can I say. All that good sense and pragmatism, and you still can’t recognise fashion,” she teased, watching Esteem sink into the ground, raising a single hand to make an obscene gesture in response.

The Rail wasn’t bad for a meal cooked in the wild under duress. With how much the fight had taken out of her, any food would frankly taste delicious. Clearly Esteem had realised how hungry the were, she was. Still, apprehension aside, she couldn’t help but smile. The last time she had met Esteem theirs had been an uneasy alliance. This time they had made progress. She was coming to terms with who and what she was, and she was stronger for it. It was the first step, but one that heralded peace between her and her shadow.

**Author's Note:**

> This may be somewhat inspired by my overreaction to finding out that Esteem was the summon from Living Shadow. Also I'm a sucker for dark knights talking to their darkside.


End file.
